The Next Move: sometimes the small step matters more than the big picture.

The thing about playing any kind of sport is that a part of it often remains in your body and your life far longer than the actual game. I grew up playing netball and at one point, I found myself playing (training) six times a week. Hard to imagine, given I've probably held a netball six times in the past decade. Yet, to this day, whenever I jump to catch a ball (including the rare instance of basketball), I still land on one foot, much to the dismay of my teammates, who then shout, 'DRIBBLE!'

There were countless matches growing up. The ones I struggled the most with, I remember best. We were losing, and I must have been glancing at the score a little too often. "When it doesn't look good, when the gap widens - that's as good as time as any to take the focus off the score and put it on every run, jump, catch, landing and throw," our coach said. It was a reminder that completing each motion would be the best shot we'd have.

I often think about this in life. When I used to have exams, one of my go-to procrastination moves was to calculate the permutations of my potential GPA based on the exam result. Half-way through, I'd concede to what I already knew: that it was a futile exercise. Instead, I'd take a breath and tell myself just to read the paragraph. Finish the chapter. Make the notes. Answer the practice questions. It'd be the best shot I have.

As I came back into a more active lifestyle post-pregnancy, I'd get worked up about weighing over 70kg for a long time even after starting the exercise routine. Stepping into exercise gear would be the easy step that'd lead to more meaningful steps like putting in the effort for that last rep and continuing to turn up even though I didn't feel any different. These things would be my best shot.

At work, I have a million tabs open so as to feed the grandiose big picture with as much data as possible. What gets me through in the end are not the tabs but to have a strong structure and feed it one bullet at a time.

When we reach the start of a decade in life, it's only natural and sometimes necessary to take a high-level view (and assessment?) of where we are. But sometimes, instead of giving me the intended perspective, it has made me less satisfied or made me want to make hasty decisions on very important things. I wonder what the next 'jump' and 'throw' looks like for us now so that we can have the best shot at who we want to be.

First posted on Instagram in July 2021